but I never published it, until now}
David and I had been trying to fall pregnant for what felt like a really long time, but was only about a year. As much as we wanted to have a baby, we were never upset or worried about the timing not quite working out like we thought it would. I'm a big believer in things happening when they're meant to and plus, David and I just really love being together and that last year we spent a lot of time taking little trips and enjoying the "just us" part of our life.
In January we went on a fun trip to the Sunshine Coast with a group of our close friends and family and stayed beachside for a few days. While on that trip I realized I was pretty late...as in a few weeks. But at this point, I didn't really think anything of it because that was normal for me. When we got home, the next morning David made me take a pregnancy test. I did it, expecting it to be negative as we've been in this spot quite a few times before, and to my complete surprise there were two little pink lines telling me it was actually positive and we were having a baby!! I was in shock and in tears! David and I just kept laughing and crying together we were so happy - we were finally going to have a baby!
The very next day I got my first taste of morning sickness. I later found out I was exactly 6 weeks pregnant. I won't go into much detail about me being sick, but it has been a HUGE part of my pregnancy as I have had it the entire time. But basically I was throwing up every hour or less from morning until about 6 o' clock in the evening, everyday. I literally thought I was dying. This went on on for a few weeks before my doctor insisted I take something for the nausea. I was finally able to go back to work a few days a week and hold food down during the day, even though that queasy, nauseas feeling never quite left. Then on top of that, at about 12ish weeks (I think) I started to get horrible migranes would come every other day - thankfully that only lasted about 3 weeks. By the time I was 18ish weeks I had stopped taking my medication as I was only throwing up until mid day and I thought I could just deal with it. Somedays though, I would start throwing up and wouldn't be able to stop. Even a sip of water would send me over the edge. I started to get sick in the evenings as well, and sometimes through the night. On those horrible days I went back on the medication for the day to avoid a visit to the hospital. One time I even popped blood vessels on my face from throwing up so much! By 30 weeks though, I was only throwing up in the mornings and then the rest of the day would usually be fine. And it's been that way up til the very end!
I wanted to keep this post really positive, but thinking about my pregnancy makes me want to vent. Pregnancy is horrible. Seriously! Some women say they love being pregnant and they feel a wonderful energy and glow, and they get sad towards the end that the baby will leave their belly...I am definitely not one of those people. I cannot wait for our baby to arrive! I am not even the tiniest bit scared about labor because I am so excited for it to be over and to finally be able to hold my little boy! I don't remember what it's like to feel normal. To not be queasy. To sleep comfortably and on my stomach or my back. To go ONE DAY without throwing up. I feel like I've been pregnant for 3 years, at least. And I know I have it better than some people.
That being said, I would do it all again, in a heart beat, for our baby. And our next one, maybe even the one after that ;) I want to point out that even though pregnancy doesn't agree with me at all, I am so incredibly grateful that I am able to be a mother and experience this. There is nothing in the world like being pregnant, and having a baby grow inside you. It's instant unconditional love. The first time I felt him kick was in the middle of the night when I was exactly 17 weeks and I remember just being in awe that there was a baby in me! A little piece of David and a little piece of me. My heart was so full and has been ever since that day.
When I was 20 weeks we went and got the ultra sound where you find out the sex of the baby. We had the doctor write down the gender on a piece of paper and slip it in an envelope, as we wanted to find out that night with our family and friends. We then gave the envelope to our friend Heath, and he went and bought two cans of either blue or pink silly string, depending on the gender. Then that night, with all our friends and family around, we shot the silly string at each other and it was BLUE! I was in absolute shock! I was convinced we were having a girl. I was so shocked in fact on first seeing the blue silly string all over me, that I kinda just stood there frozen with my mouth open and forgot to shoot the silly string at David! It was pretty crazy and surreal - it took a couple weeks for it to sink in that we were having a boy but now I couldn't be more excited!
Now I am two days overdue, waiting around for this boy to decide he's ready to come. I can't wait and can hardly believe I will have him here no later than a week (hopefully a lot sooner) Xx
photography by Benjamin Hurt Photography
